Anger Can Be Helpful

Anger gets a bad rap. Our parents and teachers trained us to be proper young children and never to be angry, though they always seemed to be enraged about something. (We always thought they were justifiably angry because of us – but that’s another story.) There are volumes of articles showing that persistent anger can lead to strokes and heart attacks. Anger has always been considered bad, much like sexual dysfunction, there are no good versions of it.

But anger can actually be good for you.  It is more like cholesterol (there are good and bad varieties) rather than a sore throat. Not all outbursts of anger are equal.  There is anger that is productive and anger that is destructive.  Imagine anger on a scale: one end being good, the other being bad. Anger is not binary; always good or always bad.  There are gradations.

How can you tell which side of the grey you are in? Here are five indicators that can guide you.

·       Do you take ownership of your anger?  Do you blame others for the feeling angry?   Yes, it’s that simple.

·       How does your body respond to your anger?   Do your muscles tighten?  Do you shake?  Are you having difficulty breathing?  By knowing how your body reacts to different levels of anger, you can categorize your anger.  Avoid a Grand Canyon scale of rage. Instead, try to keep a low level of anger by controlling that specific emotion. Think of anger as wine: it is good only in small doses, in large quantities it becomes destructive.

·       How long do you wait before you tell others how you feel?  The longer you let your anger stew, the more likely it is that when you finally exhibit your displeasure, it will be destructive.  Don’t bottle up your anger.  Let it hang out; the earlier, the better.

·       How does your anger make the other people feel?  Does it produce positive outcomes, such as compromise?  Or does it lead those whom your anger is directed at to be afraid or hurt by your negativity?  How you use your anger is significant.

·       Is your anger chronic, persistent, or does it manifest itself only periodically, and then for short bursts of time?

In an age that when the #MeToo movement is catapulted on the national scene, it is time to abandon the wisdom taught to us that anger is always bad for you.  We no longer have to put up with our rights trampled upon because we are racially, or religiously, or sexually different. We have a right to react to such denial of civil rights – and other issues as well - in the same manner as if someone intends to steal our wallets.  

Have any thoughts on the issue? Share them with us at www.MatureAging.com, and we may post them (only after getting your permission) in a future edition.

Till next time,

Josh