What Am I Missing?

If you have ever cracked a psychology text, you have seen it: two pictures, usually side-by-side, of a dark circle surrounded by other white rings.  In one image, the circles surrounding the inner circle are significantly larger than the center one, while in the other, they are much smaller.  Which of the two circles in the center is larger, we are asked.  We know the answer, but incredibly our instinct drives us to declare that the black circle surrounded by smaller circles is bigger than the other one.  They are, of course, of equal size.   We have been duped by a modest mind-game.

We often jump to wrongful conclusions on many fronts, though the error will be costly.  But with careful thought and some reasoned deliberation, we see the apparent error of our initial answer.  Our opening reply may have been our first response because it was easier to achieve, and perhaps even visceral.  But it was wrong. And, usually, it took someone else to point it out to us.

Most recently, Daniel Kahneman, with his colleague Amos Teversky, have shown that we make mistakes in judgments and in critical financial decisions.  They blame this distortion to the two types of thinking we all possess.  Kahneman accepted the Nobel prize more than a decade ago, (Teversky had died by then) for the ground-breaking and very creative experiments that proved this point. 

Can the lessons gleaned from psychology and behavioral economics be applied to our emotional state?  Of course they can – and must. For example, we don’t see that bad and good happens to all of us.   Yet we emphasize one or the other.  Think of your high school years or past (and current) marriages. We rarely see these events as gray, but as a white or black experience.  What we forget is that none of this matters, as much as how we navigated through those experiences. 

We are all prone to biases in almost every field of human endeavor. There are false impulses that are fed by equally wrong passions, sentiments, attitudes, and anecdotes. As soon as we recognize this – like the two circles that baffled our perceptions, at first - the faster we will get to live the life we deserve.

Three key suggestions that should help you navigate, as you get on with life.

·         Keep it real. The question you have to ask yourself is whether you are defending an idea because you were taught to believe in it, or because you (and you alone) think it to be real. Don’t rely on your intuition, instinct or gut.  You are probably wrong.  Seek professional opinions, even when not in doubt; but especially when you question yourself.

·         Know your “blind spots.” We all are influenced by stories that we were told when we were young and more gullible.  These innocent tales were first told to us perhaps because they instilled comfort at a time when we are anxious. These stories may have shaped us, but they all combine to form ideas that we confirm and spin into believable fables.  But we are adults now.  Time to abandon the beliefs of our youth and seize new ideas, memories and experiences.

·         Question everything. We want to believe what we are told because we respect our elders and because we are wired, for survival purposes, to behave deferentially.  Listening to those who preceded us is generally a good idea.  How else can we learn not to put our hand on the skillet just off a flame? But we need to develop a more nuanced story than the one we were originally told. It should be one that doesn't disrupt reality as we now see it.

Have any thoughts on the issue? Share them with us at www.MatureAging.com, and we may post them (only after getting your permission) in a future edition.

Till next time,

Josh