Coping with the Big C?

The “C” in this case doesn’t only represent cancer.  The “C” is for any life-changing occurrence. It refers to more than merely worrying about the type and font size of an article. It is the type of event that leads to anxiety and worry of an adult rather than of a student failing a math exam in the 5^th grade.  Though both are viewed as a precursor of a catastrophic future.

 The “C” can be a dissolution of a marriage brought on through the death of a spouse or by divorce, an unplanned, unexpected unemployment or retirement, or the loss of a child or someone else that you believed would outlive you.  But most often, the change we fear is that to hear a professional looking at our medical charts and uttering the ineffable word, “cancer.”   

As medications and treatment improve, as well as working conditions, there remain two primary reasons for why we die: the heart and cancer.  Each year in the U.S alone, 250,000 women learn that they have breast cancer.  Worldwide, over 12.7 million people receive a cancer diagnosis.  These statistics don’t make the verdicts of cancer easier to digest, but it helps in moving us forward.  When one in nine women are diagnosed in their lifetime with breast cancer, the question you have to ask yourself is not, “Why me?” but, “Why not me?” 

The odds of getting a bad medical report, in your favor.  But when it happens to you, arrive at the “acceptance” stage quickly and decide what to do next.    While no one likes wandering in the dark unknown, much less being confronted by a mugger in a dark alley, keep in mind that life isn’t fair. 

There are several steps you can take to help you psychologically recover from your trauma. 

Life is a journey – Cancer, or whatever ails you, is a process.  You have to find a way to navigate that journey.  It may be mindfulness practices, or it may be religious devotion. While there is no cure, whatever helps you cope better is a step in the right direction. Just don’t become an irritant to the others cheering you along the route.

We don’t get to choose how our lives will end.  Neither the time nor the cause is predictable, even as late as when we are in our 50’s. But how we wish to be remembered is. Planning is critical when faced with unexpected, unwanted changes. Research your illness and learn about the possible medical treatments available. But resignation, like trashing in water, leads to succumbing even faster to the surrounding evil.

Seek others – A community of sufferers is better than agonizing in isolation.  Find comfort in knowing that others have experienced similar types of pains.  Send our regular e-mails telling those whom you love and those that love you of your progression. Don’t hide your concerns by blocking them out. You want to avoid being a peddler of untruths about the future.

You will find out that people love and care for you.  They are more than willing to help you with strenuous household chores.  Just don’t abuse these solicitous souls. Only masochists wish to be around a person that is continually sad, resentful, or anxious. Most healthy people can also tell when we put on an artificial smile to cover our insecurities.   

Move and eat strategically - Try to run, or at least walk, whenever possible.  Stick to an exercise regimen before, during and after your medical treatment, though you will have to be flexible.  You may find that you are not able to perform the exercises that you effortless completed yesterday. Know your body and feed appropriately, even when not hungry. 

The trick of surviving a nightmare is waking up.  When life throws you a grenade while you are in a dark room, throw it back - as best you can.

Have any thoughts on the issue? Share them with us at www.MatureAging.com, and we may post them (only after getting your permission) in a future edition.

Till next time,

Josh